Crazy little thing called love

Over the last few weeks I have been reflecting on God's goodness not only to me personally but the goodness He has displayed in my marriage. The small audience that reads my blog for the most part are my personal friends.They know my story because they walked beside me/us a little over 2 years ago when infidelity rocked my marriage. They then helped me pack up my house and say goodbye to a life I loved and friends that I still miss. They stood next me as I made new friends in MS and started to build a life there. We lived there for almost a year and I can honestly say I am so thankful for the friendships that we made there. We had rebuilt our life and were about to buy a house when I found out that trust had breached again, this time just in the form of conversations but still breached. My friends stood beside me again and offered me a place to stay and safe haven to explore my feeling and thoughts. I moved to Atlanta without my husband and started the process of figuring out what life would look like as a 30 year old single mom.



In April of 2010 if you would have asked me if there was any way my life would look like it does now and that I would have the peace that I do I would have laughed in your face. I not only know that my God can do BIG THINGS I have seen Him do BIG things but even still to heal my heart seemed out of the question. However, that is exactly what He has done. I will even go as far to say that not only has God moved mountains in my marriage He has healed my marriage.

The funny thing about healing is I can't tell you the exact time that God started the process of healing in fact it was just over the last few weeks that I have realized what a great place our marriage is in. I have even had the privilege of walking beside a close personal friend as infidelity rocked her marriage and tonight get to go sit beside a friend of friend and share life with her as she has just started the journey of sorting thru her life when everything that made sense before is on longer sensible. God has used those 2 instances to show me how far Jeff and I have come. Never in a million years would I have felt like I would be ready to share wisdom with another woman who now is walking in my shoes down a path she never thought she would explore. I have prayed that God guards my heart from the old yucky feelings that can surface if I allow them. So far HE has been faithful and not only has protected me but more then anything in those conversations instilled in me a peace that continues to tell me " You see Lori, I do and I have made all things new in your marriage."

Choosing marriage is not an easy choice when trust has been broken. I read the Bible many times over trying to find my way out. Even though I knew staying in my marriage was the right thing to do and that God would honor the obedience it was HARD. However, I am so thankful that I chose marriage. I can not imagine my life without Jeff. Even though the past 2.5 years has been filled with many many many hard things.......even though we still grieve the things that were lost, we grieve them together. When we walked down the aisle 8 years ago we never imagined we would be where we are today but knowing what I know now.....I still say "I do".

I do choose to walk this life with my husband even when it is messy.
I do choose to remain faithful to my commitment to my covenant marriage.
I do choose to remember that love keeps no record of wrongs.
I do choose my husband. I choose our life. I choose to trust in the covenant maker.

"They are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Matt. 19:6

11 weeks

Even though I am still feeling pretty yucky we have had a fun week at the McKenzie house. On Thursday we got to see Baby McKenzie for the first time. There is nothing like seeing your baby for the first time and seeing that heart beat! Our technician was FABULOUS and was so good with Emma. Emma was more excited then anyone to see " my baby butther or sister". The technician gave Emma the first picture and wrote "hi Emma" on top and told her the baby was talking to her. Emma proudly took it to school and showed all of her friends. She has held pretty tightly to that picture over the last 24 hours. We could see the baby kicking around in my belly and Emma was very concerned that it was hurting mommy!

Some of my favorite Emma sayings over the last weeks have been:

"Mommy how is God making that baby in your tummy since He lives in your heart? That is a long way for his arms to reach?"

Something I was watching on TV made me cry and Emma came up to me and said " Mommy repeat after me....this is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it."

As I was rocking her to sleep one night she said, " Mommy I wish you would not have married daddy.You know why mommy....because I want to marry him when I grow up."

Jeff and I both had today off and had such a fun date day. He took me out for our Valentine Day lunch date, we watched a movie, took a nap, and just enjoyed spending the day together. We have a fun double date planned tomorrow night with some friends and will be attending Married Life Live at NorthPoint. Everything NorthPoint does is always so good and fun so I am very excited about another date with my husband tomorrow!

Feeling Yucky

I am now around 7 weeks pregnant and am experiencing the pains of the first trimester. Overall I am just really really really tired. I feel nausea most of the day and just overall feel BLAH. I feel really sorry for my husband because my hormones are raging and I am really sweet one second and not so much the next!

Emma Kate continues to love the idea of being a big sister and is pretty sure that we are having a girl. She still thinks we are naming the baby Sara Lindsey Sara McKenzie and rubs my belly constantly. She often pretends that she has a baby in her belly and ask me ALL THE TIME when we will we go to the hospital. We get to go to our first doctor's appointment on Tuesday and we all 3 are very excited about getting to hear the baby's heartbeat and see the baby for the first time.

I am counting down the weeks until this first trimester is over but at the same time trying to remain thankful for all the aches and pains. I know what a high privilege it is to carry a child in my womb. It is one of the reasons I love being a woman.

Snow Day!

Atlanta saw 6 inches of snow today which closed Emma's school and both of our offices. It proved to be a fun day of playing in the snow, making strawberry cupcakes and strawberry cookies, cuddling on the couch watching some movies, and now ending the day watching the National Championship game. Jeff and I also spent some time today making an offer on a house here in Atlanta! Looking/buying a house has made Atlanta seem a little more like home. We have not been able to officially make the offer due to the weather but look forward to moving forward with the offer once we can get out again. Emma's school is already closed for tomorrow and there is a good chance that Jeff will get to be home with us again.

2010 In Review

2010 has been a whirlwind year for us. I have lived in 4 different houses and 2 states!

Jan.: We lived in Olive Branch,MS and I stayed home with Emma Kate and worked 10-15 hours a week.

Feb.: We found out that we had to move out of the house we were renting so we starting to look for a house to buy in the Olive Branch/Hernando area. Jeff started a new job.

March: We found a house we LOVED and started the buying process. Towards the end of the month we had a major hiccup in our marriage and Emma Kate and I left MS.

April: Emma and I spent Easter in Alabaster and was loved on by my sweet friends there. We then made our way to Atlanta to start over.

May: Emma and I spent the month living with my brother. I also spent a lot of time finding childcare for Emma in Atlanta, setting up a new work routine, and rebuilding my relationship with Jeff.

June: We spent the first week of the month on family vacation at the beach in a beautiful house. Jeff moved to Atlanta and we moved into an apartment. I turned 30!

July: I received a promotion at work and was asked to run our direct placement business in Atlanta.

Aug.: Jeff and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. It was truly a milestone to celebrate and an event that would not have happened without the grace of God over both of our lives.

Sept: Emma started Pre-K at a new school and is loving it. We also spent a fun family day at Stone Mountain Park.

Oct.: Emma turned 4! Ms. Sandy, Caitlin, and Miss Jordan came down to celebrate. Later in the month we spent the day at a farm and had a lot of fun learning how to milk a cow and see cattle being herded.

Nov. : Jeff went to play with a band from MS so he dropped me off in Alabaster for quick visit on his way to the gig. We also had some of our old students (who are now all in college) come for a weekend visit with us in Atlanta. We spent Thanksgiving at his parents house in Hernando. We left Emma in Hernando so we got to spend the whole week after Thanksgiving with just each other.

Dec. : I went to Deeper Still in Birmingham the first weekend in December. Other then that first weekend we spent every weekend after that celebrating Christmas. The 2nd weekend we did Christmas in Atlanta with my entire family. The 3rd weekend Jeff's parents came to celebrate Christmas and Jeff's 32nd birthday. We spent Christmas weekend with my brother and his family as well as my mom and sister. Emma was so much fun and it was topped off with snow! We also found out this month that Emma is going to be a big sister!

2010 was full of a lot of changes but the one thing that never changed was the faithfulness of our God. We end the year being able to see His hand across all things and thankful for His continued provision over us.

Emma Kate is going to be a big sister!

We are celebrating some exciting news at the McKenzie house....we are having another baby! Emma Kate is beyond excited and is going to be such a great big sister. Here are some of her statements over the last 24 hours.

"Mommy you sure do have a lot of people in your body. You have Jesus in your heart, a baby in your belly, and all the food and water you have had today in your belly. How do you have room for all that?"

I was drinking water with my dinner and she said "mommy the baby does not like water the baby only likes milk. I know because I only drank milk when I was a baby and I did not like water at all."

"Why is the baby naked in your belly? I think you should buy some clothes for her?"
(We do not know what we are having yet she just wants a girl! :)

"Is it time to go to the hospital yet?"
(Nope we still have 9 months to go!)

"Can the baby's bed be in my room? When she cries I will either call for you to help me or just put the baby in bed with me. The baby will love sleeping with me."

Emma has rubbed and kissed on my belly non stop! I do not know who the nine months is going to be longer for....me or Emma.

White Christmas Day 2010

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